Day Seventeen

[Lazarus]

I have successfully not smuggled anything in seventeen days.

I don't miss the risk of being caught, the fines that come with it or the danger of being blown up and losing my other eye. Those things don't bother me. All I miss about the smuggling life is the addictive sudden influx of cash. I'm trying to make an honest man of myself, and since my brother was killed I don't take the offers that are given to me on a nearly daily basis, but I fear I'm slipping. It's just too addictive to say no most of the time. So much cash for something so simple. Oh, LHS 281 has banned Tobacco? I'll just take a single tonne of it there and give it to someone, and boom: 150k/c. 150k/c for a SINGLE UNIT.

I'm slipping. It's day seventeen and I think this is where I lapse. The urge, the addiction is too strong. I'm still fighting it, but I don't know how much longer I can hold out. James would be disappointed in me... he never approved of the smuggling anyway, and I got him into it, and I got him killed, and I'm about to lapse and start smuggling all over again.

Maybe if I just smuggle one unit into one station, I can go back to being an honest trader. For a little while, anyway... right?